Marines

The polar vortex pummeling the East the last several weeks got me thinking about the misery of living and sleeping in frigid temperatures. When I recently heard a friend say, “I’d much rather be cold than hot,” I smiled and replied, “Then you’ve never really been cold.”

Growing up in Rhode Island, I spent many mornings scraping ice from my windshield and shoveling my driveway, yet nothing in those long cold New England winters could prepare me for the harsh extremes of the “Quantico Highlands”— a dark and wooded training area 40 miles south of Washington, D.C., where the Marine Corps, according to my old commanding officer, “chose the best and worst place to trains its officers.”

Centered on the eastern seaboard, Quantico hardens young lieutenants with a 34-degree winter that’s too warm for an insulating snow and just cold enough for a shivering rain.

For those who don’t already know, the Marine Corps is a culture — dare I say a cult — that promotes suffering like a competitive sport where the most miserable Marine wins. The longer a Marine is miserable, enduring frozen rain like a Viking wading through icy shoals, the more respect that Marine gains for the ultimate prize: the story.

A Marine in the field will endure almost any hardship so long as he (or she) can brag about that experience to other Marines.

So here’s my story.

As a young infantry officer in training, I still remember jumping off a five-ton truck, strapping on my gear, and stepping away from the smell of loud diesel engines and toward the deep forest of barren trees, frozen puddles, and crisping cold. My captain, a hard man born in Iceland, chose me to lead the platoon into those Quantico Highlands for a week of winter infantry training known as “D-Week.”

Once we arrived at the platoon rally point, I gathered my small recon team and told them to find, as Brig. Gen. John Buford said at Gettysburg, some “good ground.” As I continued my instructions, the crack of thunder echoed from a distance, and a minute later, frozen rain began pelting our helmets with a “tacking” noise every grunt knows too well.

Huddled over a wet, laminated map, my team and I tried to ignore the darkening mood as if not mentioning the rain would somehow stop it. I dropped to a knee and lined my compass to the map, and my giant captain leaned his thick knee into my back and said, “You hear that thunder Lieutenant Hinman? That’s the sound of your platoon’s will starting to crack.”

An hour later, after we found good ground, the platoon etched forward and settled into a battle position along a small ridgeline. Soon we began filling sandbags and digging our fighting holes — our home away from home for the next five days.

As the cold rain poured into our muddy fighting holes and the wind chill cracked through our ponchos, I secretly wished we had brought our tents. Yet tents, as everyone knows, are for the weak. Besides, as we were often told, “Tents are not tactical and they will expose your position to the enemy.”

Once we finished digging (though you’re never really done), the afternoon drifted to evening and we hunkered in for a long night of staying alert (i.e., frozen boredom). When the night turned black, I sent out our first security patrol. As temperatures fell even more, a cold pain crept into my fingers and toes. The warm blood circulating my body had slogged to a freeze and my long slow countdown until daybreak began.

Marines winter training Because in 1st Platoon we fancied ourselves as light infantry — Sioux warriors if anyone cares — we chose to pack light, only equipping every other man with a sleeping bag. After all, we had all seen the movie “Platoon” when Sgt. Elias yanked gear off the new guys with a “you don’t need this, shit-can that” speech.

Thus, because we were dumb enough to listen to a Hollywood movie, half the platoon froze.

Lesson #1: Always pack extra for the cold.

Without a sleeping bag and my fingers balled up inside my gloves, my neglected toes began to freeze and soon I lost feeling in both feet as if my ankles were attached to cinderblocks. Misery found its home. Soon I began kicking my boots together in a failed attempt to shake the frozen blood and invite feeling back into my ice-blocked feet.

When the night’s first patrol returned, I gathered the small team and with a shivering body and shaking voice, I asked how it went. My team leader, a no-nonsense prior enlisted Marine, stared up at me and said, “You mean the most miserable experience of my life?” I replied, “Yeah, glad you enjoyed it,” hoping to get a laugh.

No one laughed.

Lesson #2: Spare no expense on the best cold weather gear and buy those damn disposable hand and foot warmers.

By 5:30 am, every Marine was awake for “stand to,” the transition time between day and night when the enemy often attacks. As the second training day began, I continued kicking my cinder-blocked feet together; still, no feeling. Then one of my squad leaders approached.

He was a 19-year-old, chain-smoking Estonian exchange student who would soon return to his former Soviet bloc country as an officer ready to lead less-than-motivated, 17-year-old conscripts. As he approached, I gazed down at his leather boots and exclaimed, “You’re not wearing insulated boots!”

Marines winter training

“This is nothing,” he replied with a straight face, “Back home, it’s much colder.”

I then asked how he kept his feet warm in the field. Without answering, he began digging his boot heels onto the tops of my boots and into my toes over and over again, until eventually, he cracked into that frozen blood and brought some circulation to my feet. Though it hurt like hell, it worked, and a slow tingle returned to my glacial toes.

Lesson #3: Ask tough people who have lived in the elements how they stay warm because they too have learned the hard way.

As the subsequent days and nights dragged on, the miserable weather continued and thankfully, Friday finally came and I heard music to my ears — my captain roaring, “End ex.” After freezing in the woods for five days and four nights, a return to central heating, comfy furniture, and dry blankets is a gift from the gods.

Besides, grunts love returning to camp and walking tall through the barracks with torn fatigues and muddy boots, knowing they endured the shivering nights with grit and that tonight they would eat and drink like Vikings in Valhalla, while of course, telling their stories.

Lesson #4: Overcoming adversity creates feelings of accomplishment.

Though I don’t consider suffering a virtue, pain does teach lessons. Yet, beyond my lessons learned, shaking all night in a frigid fighting hole (which I also did in Afghanistan) gives me empathy and respect for the foot soldiers of every country and a deep gratitude for my own circumstances as a civilian.

Tonight I’ll have a hot shower, a hearty meal, and a warm bed while many Marines and soldiers will not.

Marines speak a slightly-different language than the rest of the United States.

While all troops in the Corps speak and use English most of the time, there’s another layer of terminology added on top which is uniquely Marine. If you are around Marines long enough, you’ll hear someone being called a “boot” or dozens of them screaming out “yut.”

This is what it all means.

“Rah.” or “Rah!” or “Rah?”

Short for “Oohrah,” a Marine greeting or expression of enthusiasm similar to the Army’s “Hooah” or the Navy’s “Hooyah.” Rah, however, is a bit more versatile. You could be agreeing with someone, by saying “rah.” You could be excited about going on a mission by exclaiming, “Rah!” Or you could be asking the platoon if everyone understands, “rah?”

It’s like the Marine version of the mobster’s “fuggaddaboutit.”

“Errrr.”

This is an even more shortened-down version of “rah.” But it’s most often used as a lazy-man’s version of agreement. Your platoon sergeant may ask if everyone understands the plan of the day, to which everyone will respond with “Errrr.” Translation: Yeah Gunny, we got it.

“Yut.”

Arguably used more often than “Oohrah” by junior Marines to express enthusiasm. Instead of “oohrah,” Marines will often just say “yut” when in the presence of motivational speeches and/or talk of blowing things up.

Semper Gumby

A play on the Marine Corps motto of “Semper Fidelis (Latin for “Always Faithful”), Semper Gumby for Marines means “Always Flexible.” This phrase is often used when you are told to do one thing, then told a different thing, then told to just stand by, then told to go back to doing the original thing. “Semper Gumby, bro.”

Boot

A pejorative term for a new Marine fresh out of boot camp. The term’s origin apparently comes from Vietnam, as an acronym meaning “beginning of one’s tour.” New Marines joining a unit are usually referred to as “boots” until they go on a deployment or have at least a year or two in the Corps. Especially among post-9/11 era infantry Marines however, you are pretty much a “boot” until you’ve been to combat.

Fire watch

This is what Marines call guard duty. While sentries may well have been looking for fires in the past, Marines pulling fire watch nowadays can be walking around a barracks aimlessly or standing their shift behind the machine-gun in Afghanistan.

Since this is one of the most important duties of recruits at boot camp, senior Marines will often say boots only have the “fire watch ribbon,” a pejorative for the National Defense Service Medal that everyone gets.

“SITFU”

Acronym often used in response to someone complaining. “Hey dude, SITFU.” That means suck it the f— up. You can also just ask if they have a straw. Most Marines will understand the reference.

“Improvise, adapt, and overcome.”

An unofficial motto of Marines that means exactly what you think it means. As the smaller service — and with much less funding than the Army — Marines have an attitude of doing more with less. “Improvise, adapt, and overcome” sums it all up.

Grand Old Man of the Marine Corps

The nickname for the fifth Commandant of the Marine Corps, Archibald Henderson, who served in the Marine Corps for 54 years. But most of the time when this phrase is used, it’s in referring to the oldest guy in the unit. Common usage: “Hey grand old man, what was it like serving with Jesus?”

“Kill!”

Sure, it can literally mean kill. But in Marine-speak, kill can mean “yes, I understand,” “hell yeah,” or “let’s do this.” Marines will even say “kill” as a half-joking version of hello. Using this one outside of the Corps can get plenty of strange looks, so don’t try this one on your local college campus.

BAMCIS

Acronym for the Marine Corps’ six troop-leading steps. It stands for begin the planning, arrange reconnaissance, make reconnaissance, complete the planning, issue the order, and supervise. But most Marines just say “BAMCIS” when they successfully complete a task. It’s like when Chef Emeril says “Bam!” Just add a “cis.”

Skating

The term Marines use for slacking off. Soldiers call this behavior “shamming,” but Marines can “skate” out of boring tasks by avoiding them somehow, usually by getting a dental appointment. And of course, S-K-A-T-E is even an acronym: S: Stay out of trouble / K: Keep a low profile / A: Avoid higher-ups / T: Take your time / E: Enjoy yourself.

Direct reflection of leadership

This is often used sarcastically to rib a non-commissioned officer when one of his or her Marines gets in trouble. “So, two guys from your squad got caught drinking in Tijuana then got arrested at the border. Direct reflection of leadership, right corporal?”

Motarded

What some Marines will call an extremely gung-ho coworker. It’s not a compliment.

Ninja Punch

Non-judicial punishment — also known as the Article 15 — is what Marines can face if they break the rules, but a commander doesn’t feel it’s bad enough to warrant a court martial. While the military justice system is the same across branches, the Marines are the only ones who refer to it as an NJP. If you walk out of your commanding officer’s door going down a rank or losing some pay, you probably got “ninja punched.”

Pvt. or Lance Cpl. Schmuckatelli

The John Doe of the Marine Corps. He’s the screw-up and the guy always getting in trouble. The Marine who is lost all the time. The anonymous service-member who stands as the example of what not to do. This term will usually be brought up by a senior leader, like: “Hey gents, you are all doing good things. Be safe out there this weekend, but don’t let me get a phone call about Pvt. Schmuckatelli getting all drunk out at the club and getting into trouble, good to go?”

Semper I

Another play on “Semper Fidelis,” which often gets shortened to “Semper Fi.” While the motto means “Always Faithful” and brings up teamwork and esprit de corps, “Semper I” is used when a Marine goes off and does their own thing without thinking of others. Sometimes used as “Semper I, f— the other guy.”

Terminal Lance

Lance Corporal, or E-3, is a Marine rank that comes with more responsibility than a private or private first class, but is not a non-commissioned officer. In order for Marines to pick up the next rank of corporal, they need to have a high-enough “cutting score” to be promoted. If they get out after their four-year enlistment at Lance Corporal, they are a “Terminal Lance,” which can be bad or a point of pride, depending on who you talk to. “Terminal Lance” is also a hugely-popular online comic strip started by Maximilian Uriarte.

Let’s break it down, Barney-style.

Some Marines need some help in understanding how to complete a task. When this happens, a leader may want to break it down into baby steps and explain it very slowly. You know, just like Barney.

BCG’s

These are what Marines call the glasses you get issued at boot camp, or “boot camp glasses.” Most know them by their nickname, which is “birth control glasses,” because well, you probably don’t want to hit the club wearing these things.

The Lance Corporal Underground

The source of most rumors that go around the Corps. Since lance corporals make up a large part of the Corps, the underground is often responsible for passing word of what’s going on, or completely made-up falsehoods.

“Good initiative, bad judgment.”

This phrase comes out when a Marine does something for a good reason, but things turn out awful. A great example would be when your platoon commander says he knows a shortcut through the woods, then he gets the platoon completely lost. “Good initiative, bad judgment, sir.” Next time, let’s stick to the planned route.

Field Day

Traditionally run on Thursday, the one night of the week Marines usually dread. No, it’s not the field day of play and sports like back in school. It’s the term used to describe the weekly ritual of cleaning rooms in the barracks. Field day cleaning involves moving furniture (often completely outside of the room), dusting top-to-bottom, vacuuming, scrubbing, and waxing floors.

US Marines slapstick fall culture funny “Basically Field day is just another tool used by Marine Corps leadership to piss off and demoralize Marines on a weekly basis,” reads the top definition in Urban Dictionary. If your first sergeant finds a speck of dust anywhere, you’re screwed.

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